i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
