You're earring is so big in my mouth
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
