Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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