I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
