i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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