Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
