I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
