I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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