Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
