I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
