i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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