Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
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Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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