Just mADE A PArabola og urine
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
