Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
