How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
