I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
