you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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