Welp...herpes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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