Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
