I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
