do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
