I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
