I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
