I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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