TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
