never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
