you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
