he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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