Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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