Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
