Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
