You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
