Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
