imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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