Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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