K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
