There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
