I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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