the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
