You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
