i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
