Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
