youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
