8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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