she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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