Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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