I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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