Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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