I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
