girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
