Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
