would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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