you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
