I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
