I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she looked like the before picture.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
