I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
