i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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