She announced her abortion via fbk
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
