I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
