K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
