i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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