Already got asked if we're dating
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
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Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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