nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
