We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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