Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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