He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
