IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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