Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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