It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
