Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
